Thoughts from a drunken party

Are there any utilitarian side-effects to a conscious attempt towards the dissolution of the self? It might seem an odd question to ask, for the very task of this self-learned dissolution is only taken up by those who have reached a state of mind that has conclusively disengaged from any utilitarian goals.

I suppose I need to elaborate my definition of utilitarian in this context. The dissolution of the self and ego are lofty tasks that are hard and long to achieve. Are there other observable effects that arrive earlier and easier on the way that lend towards the final goal and towards happiness and peace in general? That is what I meant by the question.

I realized tonight on the way home from a drunken and disappointing party that there is at least one; I am sure there are more.

I realized that we are too eager to judge people we do not know too well yet, but have the slightest bit of information that we can base any judgement on (a bit of this was going on in both directions at the party). The poverty of information about people we have just met enables us not to hit any contradictions as we construct an image of them that lends heavy credence towards this judgement that we wish to paste on them.

Why are we so eager to judge people in the first place? The answer is obvious: it makes us feel better about our own selves. This is the underlying incentive and motivation behind judgement of any kind really.

Now comes in the utilitarian part of working to dissolve the ego. If you have taken the goal seriously to any degree and have given it some thought, you realize that working to elevate yourself above the perceived moral or intellectual characters of others is damaging to this goal, for it only serves to build the ego that you have realized is doing you no good. Not only is it damaging to this particular goal, it is a misdirected ambition to pursue, for it can only be fueled by things such as information-deprived quick judgements of people. The more you get to know and like the other person, the more they are on your side and they become your friends, an extension of your self and the things you stand for, and then you start using only their good qualities to judge other people and their friends against. It is an entirely opportunistic and self-deceptive process once you start to think about it.

Therefore, a willingness to erode the significance and importance we attach to the ego brings with it a necessary inhibition from being quick judges of other people. One is more accepting, forgiving and patient with people as they grow to understand them as a human being. In fact, I believe it makes it easier to imagine oneself to be the other person, which is a thought that if attended to with any sincerity even for a few seconds, makes harsh judgements nearly impossible henceforth.

And of course, such a quality would bring happiness, companionship, trust and peace in many ways, long before the dissolution of the self is achieved. I think there are many fruits worthy of picking on the way to this final goal; in fact the journey might scarcely be worth it without these collateral pickings.