Spam 3

Hi. I normally just delete all my spam on Gmail, but then I saw that
some of them were funny, and decided to put up some of them. Most of the spam I
get on Gmail is about how to make your thing bigger. How do they know I’ve got a
thing in the first place? Do they steal information from my account? Or do they
send this same spam to everyone, including female users? Anyway, let’s not worry
about that now.


This first one:



This one will seriously hurt the sentiments of all self-respecting men, that the
secret behind their greatness is nothing but their ‘great’ secret. Also, let’s
see, if you could go back in time and tell Benjamin Franklin, for example, that
you know all about his greatness and explain it to him, I think he’ll be a
little hurt.


This is the next one:


Why I think
this is funnier is that Geraldine is supposed to be a female name.

Let’s not get
into the possibilities that opens up.

This next one
will be the last for today. And yes, I’ve saved the best for the last:


1Life.


Add comment in external guestbook (no
need to have Windows Live account, no need to sign in if you do.)

My First Photos

Hi. I’ve been going around with a camera my sister recently bought
and taking some useless photos. Actually, when you come to think of it, among
the photos on that thing, only the ones I’ve shot can be called useful, because
all the others are my sister’s shots of herself. Really. She has in total shot
about 10 photos of things that are not herself, and the rest of the shots
are all of things that are not not herself. I just unplugged the camera,
so I can’t tell you exactly how many of those self-portraits there were, but I
guess there were about 35 or so, in about 4 different sittings. And I had
to shoot one of those sessions, so she could send photos of herself to her
boyfriend. What a waste of time. Anyway, I can proudly declare that at least
mine were better as photographs. I’ll confess that there’s one photo of
me in there, by myself. No more. I’m not that narcissistic.
Speaking of my photos, here are a few I wanted to put up on my blog. Also, these
have been uploaded not onto photobucket, but onto Windows Live SkyDrive, so that
I can simultaneously check out what it’s about.

This one is a dragonfly on one of my mother’s plants on the roof.
I’m usually pretty scared of insects, but as I took one shot after another, all
the time looking at the LCD screen, inching closer and closer with each shot, I
guess I went to a proximity I wouldn’t have thought of trying if I wasn’t
shooting. Anyway, I think this one came out fine:

 

I want
you to guess what this next one is. It was mostly unintended, but except for
the grains, I think this one has turned out to have a nice effect. It looks good
to me, at least.


That was
actually the lights of the street through the window panes of my sister’s room.

No
awards for guessing what this is:


I kept a
watch for clouds several days after I shot this one, but the Kolkata sky seemed
to have got wind (forgive the pun) of my intentions from somewhere and diverted all its clouds
somewhere else and we had only those stupid, blunt, colourless noontime skies
and sunsets.

I guess
this’ll be it for now. I’ve got bored, making so many mistakes with SkyDrive.
Anyway, I hope the links work and if you click them, the actual image, in all
its colossal splendour, will open up in front of you. These photos are by no
means great ones, and I’ll try to get better.

P.S. I
noticed a funny thing in SkyDrive. When you’ve hit the Upload button, they give
you a game to play while you wait for the file to upload. The game’s nothing but
a very shiny beach ball in a square frame, and you can bounce it around with
your mouse. That’s it.


Sometimes you see pretty weird things in beta versions. My guess is some guy at
Microsoft had his afternoon off.

1Life.

The Hidden Swan

I’m not feeling right. I’m
feeling crap. I don’t know how I look during these times, but I have a feeling
that I won’t like it much myself.

I’m
feeling crap because I can’t find, or rather, will be stopped if I find,
something constructive to do. I’m feeling crap because Microsoft Word takes
about one geological era to start up. I’m feeling crap because it’s almost the
hot season again. I’m feeling crap because no one comes here to read my stuff.
If you have, thanks.

I
wanted to tell you something I’d heard once from my Life Science teacher (we
called it Life Science then, not Biology. It became Biology in a later standard.
I never made it to Biology. I didn’t like it). This teacher (his name is Ajit
Sengupta) had interests spanning across a lot of fields, including advertising,
chemistry and linguistics. Oh, and Biology.

So
he told us one day about how these various different languages still bear signs
of having come from common origins. He told us of one of those signs.

The
English language and all the members of the family it belongs to were originated
from Greek. So was Sanskrit and all languages derived from it, like Hindi, one
of the official languages of India, and Bengali, my mother-tongue. I know a few
things about these languages, once having gathered content to build an elaborate
website on them. Don’t ask what happened to that project. Anyway, today Sanskrit
(which is slowly quitting existence) is far from Greek and its family, but Ajit
Sir told us of a surprising relic that still shows the connection between the
two.

In
Sanskrit, the word lupth (u pronounced as in put) means
‘extinct’ ‘hidden’ or ‘gone’ or ‘disappeared’. It’s an adjective. The word
hansa
means duck or swan.


When an aeroplane service first started in Germany, the aircraft they employed
in service were pure white, resembling huge white swans. When these aeroplanes
would fly into the sky and grow slowly smaller and disappear, they would look
like swans disappearing into the heart of the sky. In Sanskrit, the word that
could describe them was lupth-hansa, or the hidden swan.


Today, the German aeroplane service is one of the largest in the world, slowly
extending its network. These days, they’ve fused their network with the Indian
one, and newspapers and billboards are full of their ads. It’s called
Lufthansa
, and their symbol, the swan taking flight, still nestles in their
logo in every ad:

1Life.

<Ajit Sir was
diagnosed with cancer during the time he used to teach us. He outlived his
expiry date with gusto. I haven’t had contact with him since a long time ago,


but I think that he has finally taken flight.>

A History of the Banner

It hasn’t been too long that I started this blog, only about two and
a half years, but I’ve already changed my banner a number of times. So I
thought: why not make a blog entry out of it? Also, once I change my banner, the
old ones kind of withdraw to an isolated life on my photobucket album. That
would be a sad end for images I worked hard behind. So you could say that I
wanted to show off my pathetic photoshop skills with this entry. However, this
entry will also deal a little with a hasty history of Spaces and my blog.

In the beginning, there was nothing. But it was mistakenly called
MSN Spaces. My blog was then called Truth – the true version. I
had saved a preview of what my space used to look like in those dark days:

 


 

Then MSN Spaces became Windows Live Spaces. It was a lot
better-looking, but slower. And it started behaving rudely with non-Microsoft
browsers. Anyway, my first banner then was this:

 


 

It was basically a twiddling of basic Photoshop options. The
background is not entirely mine. It’s modified from a wallpaper I had on my
computer.

Then I removed the background, because I thought that a white
background made the banner blend in seamlessly with the white background of the
page and look cool.


 

But I couldn’t be pacified. I went ahead and this time did a lot
more twiddling on that same old background and even included some red, a colour
I don’t like much ‘coz my sis likes it. What resulted was this, and it stayed
for a long time.

 


 

But guess what, there came a time when it had to go. The next one
has a tiny history behind it. My name has something to do with the sky, and I
also love the different moods and shades the sky wears at different times. I
wanted to put in the same expansive feeling in the background, this time with a
sky. This is what resulted:


 

You’ll notice that I kept the title itself almost unchanged. That
golden streak at the bottom is actually the rays of a setting sun. I also
remember that that was a pretty troubled time in my life.

Then I changed the name of my blog from Truth – the true
version
to One Life – the story of my one shot, for
reasons I’ve stated before. I had to make a new banner. And this one, I’ll
admit, had a lot of hard work behind it, and it really came from the heart of my
bottom, you know what I mean. I’ve always been a huge fan of the rain. It turns
me kind of strange. I’ve written about it before. Anyway, this one had an
element of sadness to it, with the rain. The title looked good in total black.

 


 

I’ve recently abandoned it for no other reason than its background,
which fades to black, does not match the white background of the page. And I
couldn’t dream of making the blog dark to solve the problem. I’d hate it. So I
went back to that old background, and produced it in blue:

 


 

The reflections of the title and tagline you see weren’t that easy.
Each of them is a total separate layer, flipped. Then a gradient. I remodeled my
entire blog during this period. A lot of design changes were made, and the new
theme was based on white, light gray and light sky blue. I coupled this banner
with a footer on the bottom of the page:

 


 

That’s the current scenario, and no other changes have been made.
Let me tell you, these banners were all created with just the basic operations
in Photoshop, mainly layer options. If they happen to look good, I guess I owe
it more to my quote artistic sense unquote, which I might have picked up from
seven years of learning art.

And hey, if you haven’t noticed, you can click each of these images
to get the real ones, at their own isolated residences on photobucket that I
talked about.

1Life.

Two of Us #13

1Life Hey.

Neo I thought you’d killed me.

1Life Don’t be too sure I haven’t.

Neo Anyway, what’s the buzz?

1Life Let’s talk about something
else.

Neo You’re losing, aren’t you?

1Life What do you expect?

Neo I expected you to win.

1Life You didn’t actually, did you?
Anyway, something else.

Neo It’s funny watching you flee.

1Life You know, those old stories I
used to believe in, they’re long past.

Neo Well, then you have lost a lot
of yourself too, I’d have to say, ‘coz a lot of yourself was those old stories.

1Life Maybe, someday, I’ll have
reason to believe in them again.

Neo You’re leaving this hope in
whose hands?

1Life I dunno. I guess you’re right.
I’m just trying to flee.

Neo Divulged yet?

1Life Nope. Can’t, I guess. Sounds
great to the inner ear when I sometimes think about it, but it’s going to be
awkward once it happens. I mean, you need to draw the line somewhere. You leak
too much of yourself, and you are bound to start feeling awkward about it soon.

Neo But where is this going? You have any idea how long
this has been?

1Life Pretty long, yeah. If I sat
down with the stats, I guess I’d be pretty much pissed off.

Neo It would do you a lot of good,
too.

1Life I’m hoping to see that good
without having to face that unpleasantness.

Neo Flee psychology again.

1Life Hey, I was thinking of taking a
photograph of the two of us.

Neo We’ll see about that. What
about this?

1Life I can’t be sure. Let’s see.
I’ll try.

Neo That’s what you say all the
time.

1Life Yeah, but I won’t use that
argument again, of our principles being clouded by common beliefs and all. I
realized I didn’t like myself much either. You could call that an extension of
common beliefs, but I also saw that the perspective you settle into is pretty
much distorted. It’s not true. There’s a lot more to things than this view will
allow. Maybe that’s where the common belief is valid.

Neo So there is black?

1Life I’ve thought about it. Yes, it
seems to be so. That makes me a hypocrite.

Neo Actually, you wrote that as a
repercussion, didn’t you? I guess you were looking to justify something. Flee
psychology again.

1Life What if I think it’s a limited,
distorted perspective because the
common belief treats it that way?

Neo Even if it be so, you’d do
better to follow it.

1Life Why?

Neo You haven’t proved yourself
internally strong enough to establish your own system. Why don’t you conquer it
first and then deny it?

1Life It doesn’t hold, N, it really
doesn’t. The same logic would want me to ban happiness.

Neo Let’s say, then, that we are
doing it for your happiness’ sake, and not for any other stronger logical
belief. It’s undeniable, isn’t it, that that’s one thing it robs you of.

1Life I’m not sure I can do this, N.

Neo Let’s do something else, then.
Instead of trying to head towards null, let’s head towards a low. A specific,
well-defined low.

1Life Let’s see. See you around,
then.

1Life/Neo.

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