The Lists

 

I had been having an idea for a few days now to put up a few lists, like they do on some blogs. Of late my blog hasn’t been attracting too many visitors and the ones it does are not commenting. Well I don’t like this one bit. Anyways, here are the lists:

 

 

List #1 Things that get me all dreamy and thoughtful:

 

1         Rain.

 

2         Sound of raindrops.

 

3         Rain-washed streets.

 

4         Watery sunshine.

 

5         Low dark clouds.

 

6         Glowing yellow skies in the evening.

 

Or pink, or orange, or whatever colour, just not the normal colour.

 

7         Evenings in general.

 

8         The subdued blue glow that precedes sunrise.

 

Late-risers, you’ll die without ever having seen it.

 

9         Brilliant white skies after a rain.

 

10     Sunshine on your face.

 

Please don’t ask me who ‘you’ is. It’s mostly a mental image.

 

11     Stars, clear and bright all over the sky.

 

 See how the sky keeps coming back? Well, my name means The Blue Sky, hehe.

 

12     Quiet and dimly lit alleys.

 

I am a boy, and mostly without too much cash on my being. Hence safe.

 

13     CFL energy-saving lights.

 

Not the bulbs. The light.

 

14     Sodium street lights.

 

“The colour of dreams” – Poushali-di.

 

15     City lights.

 

 

 

List #2 Things I don’t like:

 

1         Limits.

 

2         Authority.

 

 Only when there’s too much of it, or its abuse.

 

3         Persontages.

 

Persontages are those persons, or rather students, who live on percentages. They devour marks for breakfast, percentages for lunch and highest marks for dinner. They live and breathe percentages. Their condition may be voluntarily selected, but is more often than not induced or imposed. I have met some, and I hate them. Their twisted tales are not confined to the realm of “academic excellence” (yeah that’s within quotes in this country, because academic excellence is just another meaningless word here) but also goes to the extent of manufacturing various ploys to inflict public disapproval on weaker and more human, but potentially hazardous competitors.

 

4         Heartless flirting.

 

I can’t do it. If I try, after half an hour I shall get deeply involved with the person’s problems and anxieties and her dreams and ambitions and beliefs and then it won’t be flirting any more, let alone heartless.

 

5         Thinking oneself to be a loser.

 

I have had personal experiences I wish not to elaborate on.

 

6         Giving up, when you still could.

 

On this context I would like to bring to the mind of those of you who have watched The Matrix (Part 1) a scene of this movie which is my personal favourite. It’s in the subway station: Neo is faced by Agent Smith. Neo glances at the stairs behind, as if to run, but then he chooses to turn around and face the agent. I have had mental repetitions of this image many a time in my head when things inside it were starting to fall apart.

 

7         Macho-man ship.

 

Same as 5.

 

8         Talking too loud.

 

9         Wholly extrovert people.

 

Although my first love was quite a bit like that.

 

10     Talking about one’s likes, dislikes and other self-centred stuff when the audience may not be interested.

 

11     Complaining even after having what many are deprived of.

 

12     Group–assaults on weaker individuals

 

13     Older people trashing everything about the younger generation.

 

14     Conservative attitude.

 

15     Talking on the cell while getting on the bus, or driving, or anything that demands more attention.

 

16     Family.

 

Same as 5. Has connections with 2.

 

17     Intrusion into privacy.

 

Nothing much personal to say about this. I have no privacy, let alone any intrusion into it.

 

18     Forgetting.

 

Both me forgetting and them forgetting.

 

19     People who mistreat animals

 

for no reason, or the even crappier reason of being more powerful.

 

 

 

List #3 Things that I would like to change about me:

 

1         How I look.

 

My height (currently aiming at 5′ 10”), my weight, and some other things you won’t be interested in.

 

2         The Chamber.

 

Talked of in Gift or Curse? and Problem.

 

3         My mental weakness.

 

Disappears when someone else needs help because of their own mental weakness.

 

4         Doubting myself.

 

5         Unnecessary negative thoughts.

 

And oh Jesus they are so unnecessary and oh Jesus so negative.

 

6         My wardrobe.

 

When 2 of List #2 loses the rains, I shall live on a diet of only T-shirt and jeans. And normal jeans. No boot-cut or bell-bots or crap like that.

 

7         The residue of shyness from my former self.

 

I thought it was gone. But it declared its presence once again last Friday.

 

8         The uncontrollable urge to end a bad patch in a relationship.

 

Even if that means saying sorry to the other person for some fault of theirs.

 

 

 

 

List #4 Wish-list

 

1         The Chamber shall close, or shall be more friendly and controllable.

 

2         Home-life will change.

 

3         Strong hug from/to Liberator.

 

4         Kiss from/to Liberator.

 

5         To hear, at least once before I die, from the mouth of the Flightless Bird the three words, even if not meant.

 

6         Sense of belonging. Mind(s) that know about the Dreaming.

 

7         Be well-built.

 

8         More visitors to my space.

 

9         More freedom.

 

10     Someday, somewhere, I wanna lie down with Liberator beside me and see all the stars in the sky, for a long time.

 

11     A lot of love.

 

1Life.